5 Things Single Dads Should Do Consistently

As a father, I try to operate with the ever-present knowledge that my words matter, and often more than I realize. Of course, that isn’t easy; we all say things that are careless and insensitive sometimes. And often the challenges increase when you add the strong emotions and frustrations of being a single dad.

My last article described 5 things to avoid, and you can read that here. Now let’s look at more positive habits we can pursue—5 things to do that will help us be more affirming and encouraging for our kids and more peaceful with our exes and others.

Be prepared ahead of time.

The most effective strategy is to prepare yourself for potential conflict or frustration as part of everyday life, so you aren’t caught off guard by a tense situation. Your efforts to guard your heart, mind, and emotions will advantageously benefit your kids and your relationship with them. Dad, set the bar and take a few moments to plan what this may look like. Though you may not succeed here every time, I assure you, your efforts will not go unnoticed by your children.

Make it a constant pursuit.

As dads, our positive words to our kids should be continual, consistent, and delivered in a variety of ways—through notes, journals, texts, and in-person comments and conversations. Researchers Pitts and Socha state:

Positive communication is not defined as the absence of negative verbal and nonverbal communication, but rather the presence of positive, enhancing and facilitative talk and gestures…. Positive communication is also not about naïvely attending to only good things but rather it is about applying and studying communication that allows us to thrive in the full spectrum of life experiences.

Dad, even in some of your child’s most difficult experiences, your words carry great weight through the notes you write, the journals you keep, the in-person conversations you initiate, and text messages you send.